Socha tha bhula diya,
har pannon ko dafna diya,

Parinda pinjre mein
Pankh fir bhi farfarata hai
pinjre se bahar dekh,
khud ke sapne sajata hai

Boondon ke pratibimb mein
uski chaya hi aati hai
khud ko jeevan ko samajhne mein
dimag ki nasein jhannati hai

Granthon kitabon mein dhoond kar
fir bhi wohi mil jaati hai,
likhte likhte yaadon ko
haath kahin tham jaati hai,

Patte fir bhi udd aate hain
Panne fir bhi khul jaate hain
parinda fir bhi farfarata hai
Apne sapne sajata hai
Jeevan chalti hi jaati hai,
parchayi peeche peeche aati hai

Fir bhi maine sula diya hai
Pannon ko dafna diya hai

We were following the orders of tour organizer. I always like to plan my trip myself and love to explore the unknown places. The idea behind this is to discover the place and understand the culture, tradition and scrutinize something which is not catchy at first glance. This time I was forced to opt for a package trip since there was no other option available.

We were always tempted to spend more time at some place and look for something more interesting. Since we were in group we had to suppress these thoughts. Many times we felt that we could read each others mind at incidence of tour guide's order, we looked at each other and smiled.

Most of the tourist attractions were conquered in the short interval of time. Two days in Bangkok passed faster then our calculation. In evening when we were set to return back to hotel tour guide announced that following day we will drop you in center of city and you all will be on your own.
We were waiting for it and accepted this with alacrity.
Morning we landed in the center of city. Our area of interest was not mall and shopping but to find something traditional. Hence we inquired for the market where street vendors are more. We were in the middle of some discussion for our next target when suddenly my eyes got caught in one of the very colorful and attractive street shop. We didn't gave any other thought and moved toward this street seller where our taste buds were tingling me making me feel that we are going to eat something really delicious. And we were never wrong.

What is this? I asked. This is "Thai Salad" she replied. She was busy in preparing salad for other customers. We also tried to observe how she is preparing it. We paused for some time and then asked her again .
"How much is this?"
She replied
"50Baht for green mango Salad and 90 baht for green mango salad with crab."
I was trying to read the faces of people who were enjoying this delicacy. Which combination will be better? I was thinking. We both are crazy to find new dishes and savor it, we didn't find difficulty in coming to a decision. We ordered two green mango + crab salad assuming that uncooked crab smashed will definitely enhance the taste.
The seller started preparing for us. She took 4-5 red hot chilli in the beginning and tossed it in a wooden vessel. ( in picture it is kept beside her). I want more chilly, a request came and before it can reach the seller I suppressed it immediately telling that let her prepare in her own way, else we will not get the real taste.


It was fast. Green mango, many different sauces, tomato and many more got smashed in her wooden pot. Then one black crab was also tossed in the same vessel when other hand was doing the smashing job using a thick cylindrical wood. We were eager to taste it.
Sooner we got the salad in our hand. Mouthwatering yummy smell was flowing in the air.
The first spoon in my mouth left me in the unstoppable vibrating taste which passed electrical pulse throughout my body. The electrical pulse was so strong that it became a challenge for me take the second spoon in my mouth. Really those chilies had done their job appreciably. Same time it was so mouth watering and tempting that it was tough to stop myself.
I looked at her and felt that she could bear the hot chili shock. She was totally lost in new delicacy. I thought not to disturb her and tried to concentrate on my plate. Second spoon in my mouth made my eyes to show the ecstasy by dropping tears. I asked her " How is it?".
 She replied
"it is very delicious. I love it. Hope I can pack some and take to my home."
She lifted her head up and i could see her tears also rolling out.
"You are feeling hot. Do you need water?" I asked.
She said "I love the taste of this salad and even its spicy part." I said " I am also liking it".
There was no question of stopping ourselves before we run for water. The crabs really added flavor in it. I think those were sweet water crabs since they were not hard or may be the crabs got crushed in the wooden pot and got softened. We ate till end also drank the tasty juice coming out. After eating we both were just struggling to get rid of this spice by opening our mouth big and blowing air out of it with sound whooooooo and hhhhhaaaaaaaa.... No one could utter even a single word before we got water.
It was indeed an unforgettable moment of savoring any delicacy which ignited our taste buds. The experience which can not be described in words.
I am trying to explain the recipe according to my observation of the street vendor.
2-3 Red chili. Smash it for some time.
Put one lemon juice and also one small red tomato.
few sprout beans (all begin smashed slowly)
Then some sauce(I think fish sauce and soya sauce) was also added with one green fruit (it is in photo and I still don't know the name).
 Green mango ( cut slices and shred) added and smashed slowly.
Some small cut beans.
and then the crab is also smashed.
( during the preparation she also added some more thing from the box kept in front of her.)
At the end it was decorated with some slices of papaya, peanuts and cashews.

I know you might be excited to try the same dish but my description is not good enough to prepare it at home.

Still after so many days when memories of Thailand is eroded, the feeling of eating mango crab salad is still fresh. I wish I can enjoy it again in near future.



( This article won the runner up prize in indiblogger Amul contest).

It was another bright day when I pulled myself out of bed and pushed to office. It takes me almost an hour to reach office which is just 10KM from my home. With all nice words to the management and traffic I reached office where I had to be a part of status meeting.

Status meeting was a a daily routine job and unwillingly I was holding one revolving chair when one team member was mumbling something about what he did last day. There was nothing interesting for me and I was just trying to keep myself out of this boredom and was looking around. Suddenly my eyes got hooked at a simple line written on someone desk's scratch pad. It was written on a place where no one used to sit. The first line caught my eyes and I got excited about the second line thinking that it would be something really interesting which will kill my boredom at least for a moment.

The first line read .. The rose is a rose. In no time I read the second line as well which said.. A lotus is a Lotus. My mind got fully disappointed. I tried to read it again together as my mind was not ready to accept that there is nothing funny in these lines. I read the lines together again.





I felt really annoyed. Then I felt like laughing. What a funny line. Everyone knows that rose will be a rose and lotus will be a lotus. I tried to draw my colleague attention toward the line. By showing those lines I uttered to him "See some crazy person have written this meaningless line. Rose is a rose, lotus is a lotus.. huh".
He was silent and serious. Nothing surprising or annoying I found in his reaction. I felt little bit uncomfortable. He said in a calm voice.. "I wrote those lines".
I was like WHATTT??? but then I tried to be calm and with unsuccessful effort of hiding my annoyance I asked "Well what is the meaning of these lines??"
He replied. These lines may look simple but to understand the very meaning of these lines and absorbing it in your daily life may lead to solve most of your problems as well may give you a completely new look to the world.
Our most problem is because we are not ready to accept what is happening in our life, how are the people around us and how the things are really happening. If a rose is red in color and have thorns with beautiful petals, that is rose. If we like or not, if we can appreciate its existence in this form or not, it will not change in any way. Let rose be a rose and accept and admire its beauty in its very form. Then only we will know the importance and value of rose. Then only we can see how attractive this rose is. If we always wished to see rose as a lotus we can never appreciate the existence as such. Same way the things around us is the same as we see it and the key to happiness is when we try to admire it in the same way of its existence.

I had nothing to say but just to appreciate this thought silently.

Type: Water painting Theme: After snowfall After snow fall is one of the piece of art done by me during my school days. It took a month to finish after multiple shade  and effects. The imagination got reflected very well in this painting maintaining the depth perspective and the 3d effect.

                                           Lifafe Ka intzaar

use bhi intzaar tha aur
mujhe bhi
us din ka
jo aaj aa gaya
aur maine khol diya use
lifafa ko

padh daale ek hi nazar mein
usme likhe chaar panktiyaan
panktiyaan kya thi
sheetal paani si bahti
ek nadi thi

Jhankte hi jisme
dikh gayi puri pratibimb
aur bhaari ho gayi meri
palkein

jaise paas aake,
kaan mein kuch budbuda ke
gayab ho gayi thi wohi
pratibimb

Aur chalchitra ki tarah
daur gayi yaadein saari

Jaanta hoon,
door hai wo kitni
fir bhi har waqt uske
paas hone ka ehsaas kyon hai

jaanta hoon meri
mukaddar mein wo nahi
fir bhi har mod pe
uske aane ka intzaar kyon hai

Everyday she comes and sits near me. She keeps looking outside gazing in space. I could never see her face, only long black hair. She sits silently as if planning to say something. I could never dare to ask her.

One day she came and stood in front of mirror. I tried to look at her face through mirror. I felt she is crying. I kept my hand on her shoulder. She turned at me. Her eyes were wet. She was really crying. I was looking at her. Suddenly her face became fierce. I stepped back. It seemed she is going to shout on me, but she did not. She got up and walked out same as everyday.

Today something strange happened. She walked in and looked directly into my eyes. She said "I want to tell you something. I never loved you." I was shocked. My mind immediately started evaluating her line. After evaluation my mind announced 'yes, I knew it. So you are not talking to me since long. It was all your plan" But my heart said " I know this is not true. Tell me this is not true. This is just a lie. A compromise with the situation."

My lips were still sealed. I did not speak anything. She looked at me for a while turned back and walked slowly calmly. I tried to shout, to call her. I tried to run to stop her but my body suddenly got frozen. I was not able to move any part of my body. I was not able to shout. I was not able to breathe. I tried hard and managed to open my eyes. "Oh", I was on bed. I looked around in my room. Far from somewhere a koel(cuckoo) was singing melodiously. My watch was showing 5 in morning. I got up, wore my shoes and started walking on the street. Somewhere on street a guy was pushing sugarcane to extract juice.

My visit to south east Asian and Middle East countries always left me with a feeling that we have lot to do about our culture on whom we are so proud of. I  always wondered how any girl from these countries will experience India if they are made to stay here for good enough period of time.

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nine O's? what ? this was something which drew my attention back into the real world. Being a day dreamer I hardly could concentrate if someone is talkative. "Do you know how many O's are there in your name ?" She asked. I thought who damn cares, you gave me this name and you only put as many o's you want. "why 9 o's??" i asked. "because I enjoy writing 9 o's when i write your name."
Hmm was my reaction. Now when this word have not fallen in my ears for long, I was just thinking again.. why my name had 9 o's ?? Just because her name is related with 9 some where or it is just a crap idea came in my mind because now a days I am watching lot of detective movies ?

I took the pen and tried writing my coined name with 9 o's just to check that if it is really a fun to write it. This mystery may remain mystery forever and this name may never been used again from any side, but it was nice name which I hardly gave a thought before.

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The train of life changes its track based on your decisions. Sometimes we have a choice, sometimes we don't have.
Jindagi ke aise pal mein se ek...
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wo,
chali gayi,
dhoondti rahi khud ko,
meri jindagi mein,
sayad dhoond na saki,
hathon mein le kar haath
boli "ab ??"

main bola "majboori hai"

"Aajad kar do mujhe "
aawaj mein koi hichkichahat nahi,
har baar judai mein
aankho mein aansu dekha tha main
aaj kewal sunapan||

Main bola "aajad??kaise ??"
boli "meri madad karo
har wo chiz mita do
yaadein judi ho meri jisse
mita do sampark ke saare raaste"||

main socha kar paunga aisa ??
bola "khushi ke do pal na de paya
aur gam na doonga
aaj se mera waada
judai ka" ||

wo chali gayi,
door tak dekhta raha usko,
mudi ek baar
muskurayi
aur chali gayi
Jaldi nahi thi jaane ki
lekin
mere saamne aansu
chalakne nahi dena chahti thi,
jaanta hoon
royi hogi kahin baith kar||

aur main ??
majboor hoon
haan kavita jaroor likh sakta hoon
isme to koi majboori nahi||