Couples in love sometimes fall in situation when they start contradicting each other for every small action. This breaks out dispute which takes days to sort out and sometimes ends up even with separation.

My name is Prashant. I am from Bihar, part of India where caste system is something enforced by our society. For your surprise, I am married to a person not from same caste, not from same state, neither from same country. yes, she is a foreigner from totally different world, different religion, different food habits, different beliefs and different lifestyle.


"So how both of you are going along?"

"Can she cook Indian food?"
"Can you eat her country food? what kind of food they eat?
"Is she able to manage with spicy food?"

"What's her religious beliefs?"
"Is she able to respect our culture?"
"What's her reaction on our long list of festivals?"
" can she do fasting for you?"
"How was your parent's reaction?"

I am always bombarded with lot of such questions and will be looked upon like an alien.

Yes, these problems are and will always be there. Many times she come up with statement "I don't understand why....................... "
These problems never created any difference between us although we debate on various such topics.

Cause of dispute:

To know how we handle this, first let's understand who you are?
A set of experience, beliefs, emotions, likes, dislikes, choices, a particular mind and a particular body is what "you" are. Similar combination but totally different kind what "Other" person is.

At a times, when part of both combination matches and overlaps perfectly, life moves in perfect harmony, full of joy and happiness. Physical and mental being is perfectly compatible.
Next moment when another part of both, totally different, failed to overlap, whatever you do you can't find it compatible and that is when dispute erupts.

Meaning of love: If we are in relationship, we feel that we can give command and you must follow because I love you. And if you do as I say, it means you love me back.

Back of your mind your ego says "You gotta do this to prove you love me"

If we love someone, our main motto should be their happiness. They can be happy only when they do what they love to do. So we should not only allow them to do what they like but also support and encourage them.

Whenever there is dispute, talk to yourself and say "I love him/her and his/her happiness is more important for me". Then next moment you wouldn't be fighting with each other but will be fighting with the misunderstanding which is the root cause of dispute.

I love drawing, painting and writing articles. My wife got no interest in these but she reads my article and gives feedback. Same way my wife loves cooking and I love trying new dishes and help her in improving her cooking skills.

Action Time: So here is your assignment for next week.
List down three hobbies and interests of your partner. Attach them with three different activities and make sure that all is done at least once in next one month. You have to be a part of activity with full energy.


Line to take home: Remember love means giving. If you expect something in return is less of love and more of selfishness.