"Just Married"
a sweet tagline not only excites newly wed couples but also triggers open the memory box of other married couples.
This immediately takes them to the feeling where every moment was fun, excitement, travel and great communication. "Boredom" was not even in the dictionary.
After almost four years of marriage, I still remember the day, I met her for first time. It was a friends group meet around a coffee table. In heat of discussion, topic came up that "how can someone kiss on very first meet?" My reply was
"Why not?"
"How can?"
I got up from my seat, walked to her and kissed her on cheek.
Her face immediately turned red followed with a moment of complete silence. it looked very stupid at that point of time.
Lot of stupid but sweet memories eventually got added in our memory box.We went on many unplanned trips, and added lot of thrilling adventure in our list. We still remember one of the stupid decision of travelling when I reached home from office asked to pack bag within 30 min and left for the trip to remote island. We were kind of sure that all means of transport and hotels are fully booked. We stood in 3 hours long queue for bus and reached boat station around 1AM. We managed to get boat ticket only at 10AM n morning over the counter that is 9 hours standing in queue. She kept on saying nice words behind me for such trip plan and I kept on listening. It was weird that time but turned into sweet memories now.
We also planned special days in unique weird ways and never missed any chance to give surprises to each other.
As the time passed, excitement and such events started fading away and turned into just memories with new tagline "Once upon a time."
Time threw more challenges. Also we turned into mom and dad, and completely submerged ourselves in that new role. We forgot that we have one more role, that is role of husband and wife.
Irritation and frustration meter was in red and we were not sure what's wrong. We used to talk for long hours before but now any talk turns into heated discussion.
We spoke with few friends to understand if they are facing the same problem and how are they managing this. We realized that most of couples are in same boat.
Few were addressing problem with one logic "live and let live". They reduce discussion and together moments. Mind their own business and don't disturb each other unless there is a dependency.
We were not ready to live like this and wanted to get the lost love back. After lot of research and trial we listed down ten commandments which enlivened out love again.
1) Plan weekend Getaway occasionally. If not monthly then at least once in six month. It gives some personal time away from usual environment. It also triggers mind to think in different way from generalized understanding about each other. even a trip to water park or amusement park, kids play arena or a full day shopping spree will meet the purpose.
2) Meet friends frequently. Meeting friends and spending good time sends some happy vibes and keeps you charged for long time. When you are in happy mood, bitter moment tends to go away.
3) Don't forget to give surprises on special days like birthday, marriage anniversary etc. When surprise is thrown on you, cherish it, enjoy and appreciate the effort & care of your partner. Even if you got kids, you still have right to feel excited and enjoy your birthday.
4) Go for sports occasionally. Outdoor games like badminton, tennis, etc or even indoor games like carrom, snooker, ludo, solving puzzles together will help in reviving love. It will also help kids to create a good bonding with family.
5) Remember to calm down. Don't attack when you are in fight mode, don't defend either. Both are different approach of fight. First calm down and try to listen to her/him. Repeat what you understood to make your partner feel that you are really listening. Think of solution for the problem.
6) Don't stand face to face during heated discussion. that is attacking position. Stand beside as if you both are fighting with problem/misunderstanding together.
7) Help your partner in kitchen. Surprise her with any quick dish you can cook when she is away with friends. Don't say that "I don't know cooking". You don't know till date you don't do it for first time. Who knows, a chef is hiding inside you.
8) Show your Love Emotion. Do you agree that anger is emotion so is love. When we show anger so openly, why not love? Be open in showing love and don't expect your partner should understand it automatically or read in your eyes.
10) Be STUPID last but most important: You can do some stupid things, plan sudden trips, going out in night to ice cream shop for no reason, sudden kiss or hug, and whatever your childish mind can think of. Be real stupid and your love life will never go down.
So what are you waiting for? If your partner is with you and you have happy personal life, you can jump high and touch the zenith.
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